Jakey - "Pine Barrens" (Single Version)

I was pretty lukewarm towards the previous Jakey single, but this is definitely a noticeable step up in quality. The songwriting on "Pine Barrens" is far better than his previous works, with more detail and a bigger focus on telling a narrative than something like "Moby Dick" (as fun as that song is). Even the singing here is a noticeable step up from "Not Dead Yet," which makes the scratchy, cheap-sounding pitch correction a bit disappointing. I'm not diametrically opposed to pitch correction, to be clear; more so, I just feel like it makes Jakey's upper register sound harsher and more strained than it should.

It's difficult to ignore the Joji comparison, especially with the sadboy R&B-pop aesthetic being so prominent and even those quiet, formant-shifted ad-libs around the two-minute mark, but make no mistake: this single does demonstrate a good amount of artist progression, and it makes me optimistic for Jakey's future works.

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PRODUCTION: 70/100

PERFORMANCE: 70/100

PERSONALITY: 80/100

OVERALL: 73/100

tl;dr - Almost a great song, but a few technical issues take the song down a peg; still a great effort from Jakey.

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Original Publication Info:

• Location: Rate Your Music

• Title: "Pleasantly surprised, but still leaves a bit to be desired."

• Rating: 3/5 stars

• Date: 28 November 2022

Silva Hound - "Root of All Evil (feat. Erica Lindbeck & The Stupendium)"

Some may see this as a step down after the unpredictably massively-reaching track “Addict;” however, I see it as an incredibly ballsy move from Silva to make his most commercially successful single ever and then follow it up with something that sounds nothing like it.

And honestly? I think it's a far more interesting song for it.

Now, it's worth noting that I am not a fan of either Hazbin Hotel or Helluva Boss, the media those respective singles are about. With that said, I'm no stranger to fandom music, and one thing I can say about a lot of fandom music is that the lyrics can be... not necessarily bad? But they can certainly be a bit awkward and - forgive me for using this term - a little cringey.

Are the lyrics on this song a bit cringey at times? Absolutely; I think any and all COVID bars have aged poorly, and "I just wanna see my queen grow" is just funny to think about out of context. To the haters of this song, though: I think it's fine if the lyrics are a bit corny because the song isn't aiming for the soaring heights and melodrama of “Addict;” it's a melodic rap song with plenty of braggadocio, some decently clever wordplay, including a notable name in the nerdcore rap scene. (Also like, have you read the lyrics of Addict out loud? Not to disrespect Mr. Hound, but they're not exactly Ibsen either.)

On the whole, I think the vocal performances are solid, though there are definitely moments where Erica feels a little pitchy and where The Stupendium is stumbling a bit on his words, but neither of those are fundamental flaws. I think with some workshopping, both of those issues could go away completely and make the song even glitzier and shinier than it is.

Oh, and I haven't mentioned the production on this yet. Minus the hihats being a little harsh through my headphones, I really enjoy the buoyancy of the instrumental, and the vocal layering in the final choruses is some of Silva's best to date. I do wish the ending section had a bit more variety in the lyrical department, but I think it's a fun switchup that's grown on me a lot since I first heard it.

I don't think that "Root of All Evil" is a masterpiece, no, but I think it's far better than people gave it credit for at the time, and it bums me out a bit that this got panned so hard. The song is fun, y'all are just mean. If you want more like Addict, the guy's got plenty of electro in his discography that's of similar quality: “EGOMANIA” and “Serial Dreamer” both jump to mind.

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PRODUCTION: 60/100

PERFORMANCE: 55/100

PERSONALITY: 65/100

OVERALL: 60/100

tl;dr - This song is more clever and more tasteful than any random episode of Helluva Boss, and the people who hate this song put a sour taste in my mouth.

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Original Publication Info:

• Location: Rate Your Music

• Title: "W + counter-ratio + Loona outsold"

• Rating: 3/5 stars

• Date: 28 November 2022

Post Malone - "Motley Crew"

I'm genuinely shocked at the vast nothingness of "Motley Crew." The hollow vacuum of an instrumental and its brief moments of silence serve only to highlight just how bland the hook is, which is repetitive even by Post Malone's standards. The vocal delivery of the chorus is bafflingly nasal and its melody relentlessly hammers on the tonic the entire chorus. Meanwhile, the melody of the first verse just sticks to the supertonic, and the only time in the track where the vocals have any kind of arc, Post struggles to hit any of the high notes.

Even the worst songs off his previous projects had the decency to include some humorously bad bars; "Motley Crew" is just flavorless schlock.

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Production: 25/100

Performance: 20/100

Personality: 5/100

Overall: 17/100

tl;dr - I think Posty can make some really fun pop rap, but this isn’t fun: it’s boring from start to finish.

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Original Publication Info:

• Location: Rate Your Music

• Title: "Boring and repetitive even by Post Malone standards."

• Rating: 1/5 stars

• Date: 11 December 2021

welcome

Hello everybody!

Apologies if you’re here and the page is empty; there’s a lot of reviews to transfer over from other platforms, but once everything’s moved over, this will be the place my written reviews are hosted.